Pause
by Felinephoenix
Summary: Marco has a secret to spill. Should he? Probably part one of a series. Slash. Marco-Ax, of course.


Author's Note: Well, here's a very short 'lil story for your entertainment. Please note that it takes place almost immediately after #51, and references at least one or two events in that book, so consider yourself warned spoiler-wise. Plus, that's the reason for the lack of "Ax-speak" in this chapter. From what I can tell, he stopped doing it in 46 for the most part.  
And this _is_ slash, but it's not at all explicit. Yay.  
Oh, and the likelihood for a sequel or two is quite alive. =)

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Pause

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I'm not sure _when_ it started.  
I think it was after I found out my mom was Visser one but I think it was in motion before we all realized Ax wasn't telling us everything about the Yeerk-Andalite war.

Damn, I was so pissed off about that.

But I never put much thought into why. I don't think I wanted to.

After that I ended up warming up to the Ax-man again, but like I said, I didn't think much about just why it hacked me off so bad.  
He wasn't hiding things from us anymore. We were friends again. Why bother over-thinking it, you know? So I ignored the little voice in my head that told me what I wanted to hide.  
Hell, even though the TV in my head kept replaying the memories I had of him, I blew it off. That got a little harder to do after one day the two of us -- him in human morph snacking on something I dragged in from the fridge -- were watching soaps. Well, he was. I was watching him.  
Then I thought _he's sort of cute for a guy_.  
It was like someone pressed pause on the VCR and there, flickering on the screen, was the sudden disturbing realization that I'd just found another guy cute. But I even blew that off for a while.

Until I started finding myself fantasizing about Ax-kissage.

Then I guess my conscious just decided it was tired of lying anymore.

Not that I'm gay. I still don't think I am. I mean, I still think Rachel's pretty hot, it's just that she's not the one I give my lusty thoughts to.  
But that was about a year ago and I've never told the others.  
I guess I just figured it was too much trouble than it was worth.  
I mean, I didn't want all the awkwardness I'd get from Jake, and lord knows Rachel would never let up on me if she knew. Christ knows was Tobias would do. And as much as I love Cassie, I don't want or need her pity or any of that crap. I never planned to tell anyone.

But after today...

The footage in my head was already going around in an endless loop.  
Ax hitting the water. Pause. Tobias scanning the surface. Pause.  
The Governor asking me if Ax would be all right. Pause. Me reassuring her, even though my heart had stop beating. Pause. A fin erupting out...

It was driving me insane.

I knew what I had to say. Now, before I lost the chance.

So I took a deep breath and walked out of the quasi-room Ax had made for me when I stayed in his scoop.

He was sitting on the couch, in human morph again, devouring the cinnamon buns Erek had bought for him as The Governor's speech flashed across the TV for what had to be the billionth time.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think someone has a crush." I said.  
Ax turned around and frowned at me. "I do not have a crush." He said.  
The under his breath he muttered. "I just wish to keep up with the news."  
I climbed over the back of the couch and sat down next to him.  
"So what is the news?" I asked. "The Yeerks still going on about a bunch of guys in costumes?"  
Ax chuckled. "Yes."  
I took a deep breath. "That was a hell of a mission, wasn't it?"

I don't know if Ax caught onto the nervousness in my voice, but he did give me a smile. For some reason that just made things worse.

"It was worth it, though, wasn't it?" Ax asked me. "Now your people know."  
I smiled back at him and let myself sink further into the couch. "Yeah."  
"Thanks to you, you know." I added. "You watched the Governor's back."  
"I can't take all the credit." Ax told me, his voice humble.  
"Yeah, yeah, but it's not like Birdboy and I almost died out there."  
"As I recall, _you_ were the one who got captured by the Yeerks."  
I laughed. "And that's the last time I'll ever wear a dress."  
Ax, I swear to god, smirked. "Pity. I found you rather fetching."  
My eyebrows shot up. "Ew, you really liked that old lady, didn't you?"  
Ax glared at me and turned off the TV to prove his point. "No."  
Then he lowered the remote and looked at me. "Are you feeling well?"  
I frowned, confused. "Why?" I asked. He shrugged. "You're acting weird."  
"I always act weird, Ax-man. Don't you know that by now?" Then I got up.  
"But I guess today did freak me out a little." I admitted to him, trying to stop myself from, well, stopping myself.  
"Especially, like, with you almost dying and everything." I said.  
It was Ax's turn to get confused-face. "Why would that...?"

Pause.

"Well, it's a funny thing." I laughed. "...I'm in love with you."

He stared at me, speechless. At first I think he thought I was joking.  
And I guess I could've told him that, too. But I didn't.  
And by now, he knew I wasn't.

Then, pause, there was a horrible silence. It was too much.

"Sorry, I shouldn't--I've gotta go."  
He shot up off the couch. "No, wait!" He shouted.

But whatever else he said, it was in vain.

Because I was out of there without a single pause. 


End file.
